


area 51

by imposterhuman



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Aliens, BAMF Pepper Potts, Bucky is done, Crack, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Tony Being Tony, Tony is a little shit, area 51, winteriron
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 00:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19841908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imposterhuman/pseuds/imposterhuman
Summary: “Bucky, darling, love of my life,” Tony began, sauntering into the room where Bucky was relaxing.“Not a chance in hell, doll,” Bucky said immediately, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tony’s flattery usually meant there was a dumb idea coming that Bucky was totally going to participate in (after a token protest, of course).Tony pouted. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!”





	area 51

**Author's Note:**

> im not dead!! i kinda disappeared bc im at a writing camp, but i got hit with inspiration and wrote this in like 10 mins
> 
> enjoy!

“Bucky, darling, love of my life,” Tony began, sauntering into the room where Bucky was relaxing.

“Not a chance in hell, doll,” Bucky said immediately, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tony’s flattery usually meant there was a dumb idea coming that Bucky was totally going to participate in (after a token protest, of course). 

Tony pouted. “You don’t even know what I was going to say!” 

“Every time you start with that, I end up getting the eyebrows of disappointment from Steve,” Bucky deadpanned, shuddering at the mere memory. “I’m not putting myself in that position.”

“Don’t you love me?” Tony widened his Bambi eyes, the ones he knew Bucky wasn’t immune to.

“I’m so going to regret this,” Bucky muttered to himself. He sighed. “What do you want, Tony?”

Tony started vibrating with excitement. “Do you want to raid Area 51 with me?” he asked. 

“I’m sorry, _what_?” Bucky was lost. “What is Area 51 and why are you raiding it?”

“ _We_ are raiding it,” Tony corrected primly. “Area 51 is where the government keeps the all the aliens.”

“We literally fight aliens once a week,” Bucky pointed out. “I don’t think the government is hiding more of them anywhere.”

“Don’t you want to find out, though?” Tony wheedled. “C’mon, babe, it’ll be so much fun. A bonding experience, you know? Good for the relationship.”

“Your idea of fun is very different from mine.”

“We have to uncover the truth,” he tried again. “The public deserves to know.”

Bucky arched an eyebrow. “So hack the government?” he suggested. “I know you can, easy.”

“That’s, like, a felony.”

“That wouldn’t even be the most illegal thing you’ve done this _week_ , doll, you’re not fooling anyone.”

Tony put a scandalized hand over his heart. “Excuse you!” he gasped dramatically. “I am a law abiding citizen! I am a paragon of virtue! I have never broken a rule in my life!”

“Do you even know what words mean?” Bucky smirked, kissing the offended look off of Tony’s face. 

“I know that you used to know what truth meant,” he sniffled, putting on his saddest face. “But alas…”

“Why are you like this?” Bucky said under his breath. 

Evidently not quiet enough, as Tony replied, “You love that I’m like this.”

“We’re not doing it,” Bucky said with finality. He couldn’t argue with Tony’s statement, though.

“Give me one good reason we can’t raid Area 51,” Tony challenged with a victorious smirk.

“Is the illegality not enough?” said Bucky, throwing up his hands. “Or the stupidity?”

“I’m Tony Stark,” Tony said, unimpressed. “Has illegality or stupidity ever stopped me before?”

“Hmm,” Bucky thought for a moment. “Pepper would kill you.”

“I think Pepper would be on the side of truth,” Tony said airily.

“Call her and find out,” Buck was barely muffling laughter. Pepper was going to kill Tony, he knew. Tony knew it, too, but he didn’t back down.

“Fine,” he took out his phone and dialed, glaring all the while.

“Fine,” Bucky parroted with a small smile.

“Hey, Pep,” Tony said as soon as Pepper picked up. “Hypothetically-”

“Tony Stark,” Pepper interrupted, voice dangerously low. “If you so much as _think_ about going near Area 51, I will cut your dick off and hang it in my office.”

Tony pursed his lips. “So that’s a no on coming with me?”

“Tony, why?” Bucky winced. “She’s going to murder you.”

“I’m going to murder you,” Pepper said sweetly. “Better start running.”

“I’ll bring you back an alien!” Tony said, hanging up the phone on Pepper’s increasingly creative threats. He turned to Bucky. “So, road trip?”

Bucky grinned, giving in. “Dibs on driving.”

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos make my whole day
> 
> hit me up on my (alien) tumblr @imposter-human


End file.
